Embracing Transformation: Releasing the Past and Honoring Growth

I have been reflecting a bit lately on my life and the many changes that have occurred, along with the blessings of a new future for us all when we let go of the past- past lives, past conditioning, past trauma, old patterns, and what has been labeled as mental illness.

Mental Illness, with all the DSM-5 categories describing it, is ever changing. Diagnoses attempting to help understand while often just feeling like judgments and labels. While I dislike their existence, there is value in recognizing them for what they are: wounds that may never fully heal in this lifetime.

Some wounds do heal, yet always a tiny inkling of it may remain. Increasingly, some are being more recognized as neurodiversity rather than illness, encouraging our society to collectively adapt and change-to be more inclusive and understanding.

Ultimately, as we come into greater unity during this time of ascension, it is requiring many of us to let go of our discomfort with what is different and potentially unsettling based on our old beliefs. To have more compassion for people and also in the case of “personality disorders” to learn boundaries and discernment.

To love from a far and stand in our power when another would try to manipulate us. Either because of a very deep relational wound or an inability to truly be vulnerable and empathize. And yet, this person is still a human being, and a part of the creation all around us, a reflection of our inner world.

All great teachers- even the narcissists, who arguably the greatest teachers and activators- either take us down or inspire us to rise. Eventually, we rise up, no one is left behind in the divine field of creation.

Wounds are an illusionary energy or awareness that comes to visit from time to time, offering the opportunity to fall back into old ways. Yet, these wounds and the ego no longer exist when we “die”. Ironically, in the higher fields of awareness, wounds and the ego become just like memories, they are not valued in the same way as an absolute as they may seem now. (You do not have to physically die to achieve this, though very few have while living-this too is changing.)

Even if we are temporarily tricked by our wounds and unhelpful ego patterns, it is never exactly the same, for we have truly changed. What remains is only the memory and fear of it returning.  

✨A feeling to be felt when we have stopped the impulse.

✨A thought, when we have worked on feeling the feeling.

✨A revealing, when we no longer feed that thought of separation- a coming into presence.  

Mental fixation and attempts to control the future is the energy that so many of us are shedding at this time. The memory of what was and fear that it will happening again often arise. The part of us offering this is essential to survival in a physical form, it is not to be cast out or destroyed. It can be transformed or reprogramed, but not with more thoughts from the thinking mind. It must come from the divine.

This reprogrammable part, often labeled the ego and connected to the personality, anchors to physical reality and makes the idea of separation possible with the various levels of experience as the result of how strongly we identify with this part. Yet, it is just a part- one that can be loved and accepted so it does not take the wheel.

Personally, growing up, I needed to remain on constant alert for the mood swings and outbursts of someone three times my size. As a child, I never felt like I could truly step into my masculine energy in a balanced way. This later played out in reckless risk-taking behavior, suicidal ideation, substance abuse, identity confusion, and commitment issues.

I also seemed to have inherited my own tendency to perpetuate the same traits from a parent that most likely would be labeled as having borderline personality disorder (BPD). A beautiful, loving person-sensitive and caring- who could become overwhelmed, swing into rage, and feel a constant need to control others and their environment. A lack of trust in themselves and those around them from a deep relational wound.

Some may argue with me, but I do feel time will show that borderline personality disorder is more of a relational disorder rather than a fixed “personality disorder”, again I’m only using the academic terminology because that is what is presented to the vast majority of the population.

Most, if not all, the destructive patterns are unconscious- especially when the person is not actively trying to address them. Those of us that have relentlessly worked on either this pattern or the impacts of a parent with this have found more stability through holistic professionals, ancient practices, and the wisdom and guidance of wise teachers, both incarnate and from other energetic realms.

We often have had experiences that have tested our limits. Initiations from the Universe destroying our old ways of being. Opportunities to choose to be of service or to lash out and hurt from the same hurt, moments to pause and to consciously feel long enough to see what is truly happening beyond the illusion of old thoughts clouding the Now. To see beyond the belief that someone hates us or is trying to destroy us. And if they do, we can see why with compassion, while choosing not engage or feed into it, even if we feel justified.  

An aspect of power is the ability to destroy, to retaliate and deeply wound- but being wise enough to know this is like cutting off our own arm. Distance and time, energetic tools, legal tools in certain cases, and community are wonderful supports.

I write this to acknowledge all those beautiful beings out there. Know you are not alone. Your past does not have to define you. You are not the patterns that have played out in your lineage or your other relations. You are here breaking those multigenerational transmissions and old reflections towards embodying the organic 12-strand human genome of harmony and balance.

It is not always easy. Many of us may feel like we took on more than we might have expected and yet that too shows how strong you are. Your spirit knew you would be triumphant because it has already happened. This is a beautiful multidimensional dance. Time only seems to exist because of that part that is playing this game so intensely.

Honor that while always remembering that which you are and that created you- Love the energy of all things.

The breath will help you find it deep within, and your divine loving heart will light the way back in each moment.

Loving all those parts and being patient with the ones that want to run for the hills when they feel love- because they are simply confused if they can truly trust it again.